Marriage

Scripture:

• "'It is not good for Man to be alone; I will make a helper for him.'...For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:18, 24

 

Ellen G. White:

• “In this age of the world, as the scenes of earth’s history are soon to close and we are about to enter upon the time of trouble such as never was, the fewer the marriages contracted, the better for all, both men and women.” Testimony Treasures, Vol 2, p. 124 https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/2003.626#634

 

• “Many of the marriages contracted in these last days prove to be a mistake. The parties make no advancement in spiritual things; their growth and usefulness ended with their marriage. There are men and women throughout the country who would have been accepted as laborers together with God if Satan had not laid his snares to entangle their minds and hearts in courtship and marriage. Did the Lord urge them to obtain the advantages of our schools and missions, that they might sink everything in courtship and marriage, binding themselves by a human band for a lifetime? By accepting the work of rearing children in these last days of uncertainty and peril, many place themselves in a position where they can not labor either in the canvassing field or in any other branch of the cause of God, and some lose all interest to do this. They are content with a common, low level, and assimilate to the position they have chosen. The bewitching power of Satan’s deception wrought within the human heart its evil work. Instead of candidly considering the time in which we live, and the work they might do in leading others to the truth they reason from a selfish standpoint, and follow the impulse of their own unconsecrated hearts. ‘The flesh lusteth against the spirit, and the spirit against the flesh.’ The natural appetites and passions become a controlling power, and the result is that spiritual growth ceases; the soul is, as it were, paralyzed.” https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/283.61#86 

 

• "How much better would have been the influence of both if they had not married, but both have devoted their interests to God’s cause," ... "Brother [Cudney] could have done a good work for the Master had he devoted himself to this work as the Lord’s servant. When married, his work has not been more than one half that which it might have been." Regarding Minister's Families, Feb 15 (1885)/ Letters and Manuscripts, Vol 4, Ms 34b (1885) https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/14054.3819001#3819008  

 

• “But there is an objection to the marriage to the white race with the black. All should consider that they have no right to entail upon their offspring that which will place them at a disadvantage; they have no right to give them as a birthright a condition which would subject them to a life of humiliation. The children of these mixed marriages have a feeling of bitterness toward the parents who have given them this lifelong inheritance. For this reason, if there were no other, there should be no intermarriage between the white and the colored race.” Manuscript 7 (1896) https://m.egwwritings.org/de/book/5535.1#11 
  • There is no scriptural basis for forbidding the marriage of people with differing skin tones. To say they have "no right" to produce offspring who will face prejudice is not grounded in scripture, as the entire nation of Israelites endured harsh prejudice, affliction, and even slavery for generations, yet scripture did not discourage marriage or the growth of families. If people had "no right" to enter into a mixed marriage and produce mixed children because these children would endure racial discrimination, then by the same reasoning, black people would have had "no right" to reproduce due to the undoubted discrimination their children would face during that time in America. 

 

 

Divorce

Scripture:

• “Now it was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away is to give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32

 

• "And some Pharisees came up to Jesus, testing Him, and began questioning Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife. And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send his wife away.” But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, God created them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”  And in the house the disciples again began questioning Him about this. And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.” Mark 10:2-12

 

• “But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife is not to leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if any woman has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one is leaving, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” 1 Corinthians 7:10-16

 

Ellen G. White:

• “I then saw Sister S. Peckham that she would have to break loose from her husband for he has no part nor lot with the saints. I saw he had sapped her strength, and that he had a fire of her kindling, that she would talk the truth with him and try to impress him with it. He would appear to have a love for the truth and a little feeling. I saw all his care was to get this world, and to lay up a treasure upon the earth. I saw she must look to Jesus and draw strength and grace from Him or she would fall right upon the borders of Canaan. I saw she had been losing her life and strength of late, for the weight of her husband has dragged her down, and the company of the wicked has opened a wide door for the devil to hit her with his darts. I saw she must shake off these shackles and go free or she will fall. I saw that the time had come when though Noah, Daniel, and Job were in the Land they could not save son or daughter, husband, or any one but their own souls by their own righteousness.” Manuscript 7a, 1850 https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/13961.2835001#2835018 
  • Ellen's directions (per divine vision) to this woman are directly opposed to what Jesus and Paul instruct in scripture. She even condemns this woman saying she will fall to Satan if she does not leave her husband. A spirit who gives a vision denying the instructions of Jesus cannot be a spirit sent from God. 

 

 

Intimacy

 

Scripture:

• "But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:2-5

 

Ellen G. White:

• “Let the husband and wife in their married life prove a help and a blessing to one another. Let them consider the cost of every indulgence in intemperance and sensualism. These indulgences do not increase love, nor ennoble and elevate. Those who will indulge the animal passions and gratify lust will surely stamp upon their offspring the debasing practices, the grossness of their own physical and moral defilement.” Manuscript 3 (1897) / Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, Adultery, and Divorce, Ch 14  https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/122.540#568 

 

• “I was shown, October 2, 1868, the state of God’s professed people. Many of them were in great darkness, yet seemed to be insensible of their true condition.” … “Many parents do not obtain the knowledge that they should in the married life. They are not guarded lest Satan take advantage of them, and control their minds and their lives. They do not see that God requires them to control their married lives from any excesses. But very few feel it to be a religious duty to govern their passions. They have united themselves in marriage to the object of their choice, and therefore reason that marriage sanctifies the indulgence of the baser passions. Even men and women professing godliness give loose rein to their lustful passions, and have no thought that God holds them accountable for the expenditure of vital energy, which weakens their hold on life and enervates the entire system. The marriage covenant covers sins of the darkest hue. Men and women professing godliness debase their own bodies through the indulgence of the corrupt passions, which lowers them beneath the brute creation. They abuse the powers God has given them to be preserved in sanctification and honor. Health and life are sacrificed upon the altar of base passion. The higher, nobler powers are brought into subjection to the animal propensities. Those who thus sin are not acquainted with the result of their course. Could all see the amount of suffering they bring upon themselves by their own wrong and sinful indulgences, they would be alarmed. Some, at least, would shun the course of sin which brings such dreaded wages. A miserable existence is entailed upon so large a class that death to them would be preferable to life; and many do die prematurely, their lives sacrificed in the inglorious work of excessive indulgence of the animal passions. Because they are married, they think they commit no sin. Men and women, you will one day learn what is lust, and the result of its gratification. Passion may be found of just as base a quality in the marriage relation as outside of it. The apostle Paul exhorts husbands to love their wives “even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.” It is not pure love which actuates a man to make his wife an instrument to administer to his lust. It is the animal passions which clamor for indulgence. How few men show their love in the manner specified by the apostle: “Even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it,” “that it should be holy and without blemish.” This is the quality of love in the married relation which God recognizes as holy. Love is a pure and holy principle. Lustful passion will not admit of restraint, and will not be dictated or controlled by reason. It is blind to consequences. It will not reason from cause to effect. Many women are suffering from great debility, and with settled disease, brought upon them because the laws of their being were not regarded. Nature’s laws were trampled upon. The brain nerve-power is squandered by men and women because called into unnatural action to gratify base passions, and this hideous monster, base, low passion, assumes the delicate name of love. Many professed Christians passed before me, who seemed destitute of moral restraint. They were more animal than divine. They were, in fact, about all animal. Men of this type degrade the wife they have promised to nourish and cherish. She is made by him an instrument to minister to the gratification of his low, lustful propensities. Very many women submit to become slaves to lustful passion. They do not possess their bodies in sanctification and honor. The wife does not retain the dignity and self-respect she possessed previous to marriage. This holy institution should have preserved and increased her womanly respect and holy dignity. Her chaste, dignified, godlike womanhood, has been consumed upon the altar of base passions. This has been sacrificed to please her husband. She soon loses respect for her husband, who does not regard the laws to which the brute creation yields obedience. The married life becomes a galling yoke; for love dies out, and, frequently, distrust, jealousy, and hate, take the place of love. No man can truly love his wife who will patiently submit to become his slave, and minister to his degraded passions. She loses, in her passive submission, the value she once possessed in his eyes. He sees her dragged down from everything elevating, to a low level; and soon he suspicions that she will, may be, as tamely submit to be degraded by another as by himself. He doubts her constancy and purity, tires of her, and seeks new objects which will arouse and intensify his hellish passions. The law of God is not regarded. These men are worse than brutes. They are demons in human form. The elevating, ennobling principles of true, sanctified love they are unacquainted with. The wife becomes jealous of the husband. She suspects that he will just as readily pay his addresses to another as to her, if opportunity should offer. She sees that he is not controlled by conscience, nor the fear of God. All these sanctified barriers are broken down by lustful passions. All that is godlike in the husband is made the servant of low, brutish lust." … "It is not true, holy love which leads the wife to gratify the animal propensities of her husband at the expense of health and life. If she possesses true love and wisdom, she will seek to divert the mind of her husband from the gratification of lustful passions, to high and spiritual themes, dwelling upon interesting spiritual subjects. It may be necessary to humbly and affectionately urge, even at the risk of his displeasure, that she cannot debase her body by yielding to sexual excess. She should, in a tender, kind manner, remind him that God has the first and highest claim upon her entire being, which claim she cannot disregard, for she will be held accountable in the great day of God. “What! know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? for ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” “Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.” … "When the wife yields her body and mind to the control of her husband, being passive to his will in all things, sacrificing her conscience, her dignity, and even her identity, she loses the opportunity of exerting that mighty influence for good which she should possess, to elevate her husband. She could soften his stern nature, and her sanctifying influence could be exerted in a manner to refine, purify, and lead him to strive earnestly to govern his passions, and be more spiritually minded, that they might be partakers together of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. The power of influence can be great to lead the mind to high and noble themes, above the low, sensual indulgences which the heart unrenewed by grace naturally seeks for. If the wife feels that she must, in order to please her husband, come down to his standard, when animal passions is the principal basis of his love, controlling his actions, she displeases God; for she fails to exert a sanctifying influence upon her husband. If she feels that she must submit to the animal passions of her husband without a word of remonstrance, she does not understand her duty to him, nor to her God. Sexual excess will effectually destroy a love for devotional exercises, will take from the brain the substance needed to nourish the system, and will most effectually exhaust the vitality. No woman should aid her husband in this work of self-destruction. She will not do it if she is enlightened, and truly loves her husband. The more animal passions are indulged and exercised, the stronger do they become, and the more violent will be their clamors for indulgence. Let God-fearing men and women awake to their duty. Many professing Christianity are suffering with paralysis of nerve and brain because of their intemperance in this direction. Rottenness is in the bones and marrow of many who are regarded as good men, who pray and weep, and who stand in high places, but whose polluted carcasses will never pass the portals of the heavenly city. Oh! that I could make all understand their obligations to God to preserve the mental and physical organism in the best condition to render perfect service to God. Let the Christian wife refrain, both in word and act, from exciting the animal passions of her husband. Many have no strength at all to waste in this direction. They have already, from their youth up, weakened their brains, and sapped their constitutions, by the gratification of their animal passions. Self-denial and temperance should be the watch-word in married life; then, when children are born to parents, they will not be so liable to have the moral and intellectual organs weak, and the animal, strong.”... "Men and women who profess to be disciples of Christ, keeping all the commandments of God, will have to feel in their daily lives the true spirit of agonizing to enter into the strait gate. The agonizing ones are the only ones who will urge their passage through the narrow way and strait gate that lead to life eternal, to fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore. Those who merely seek to enter in will never be able. The entire Christian life of many will be spent in no greater effort than that of seeking, and their only reward will be an utter impossibility of their entering into that strait gate. I have been surprised to see how many families are blinded by Satan, and have no sense of his workings, his wiles, and deceptions, practiced in their very midst. Parents seem to be stupefied by the paralyzing influence of Satan, and yet think they are all right. I have been shown that Satan engages in the work of debasing the minds of those who unite in marriage, that he may stamp his own hateful image upon their children. Because they have entered into the marriage relation, he deceives them, and leads them to pervert the marriage institution, which is sacred. Many think that because of the marriage relation, they may permit themselves to be controlled by animal passions. They are led on by Satan. He is well pleased with the low level their minds take; for he has much to gain in this direction. He knows that if he can excite the baser passions, and keep them in the ascendency, he has nothing to be troubled about in their Christian experience; for the moral and intellectual will be subordinate while the animal will predominate and keep in the ascendency, and by exercise these baser passions will be strengthened and the nobler qualities of the mind become weaker and weaker. He can mold their posterity much more readily than he could their parents; for he can so control the minds of the parents that through them he may give his own stamp of character to their children. Many children are born with the animal passions largely in the ascendency, while the moral faculties are but feebly developed. These children need the most careful culture, to bring out, strengthen, and develop, the moral and intellectual, and have these take the lead. But the workings of Satan are not perceived. His wiles are not understood. Children are not trained for God. Their moral and religious education is neglected. The animal passions are being constantly strengthened, while the moral faculties are becoming enfeebled. Children begin to practice self-pollution even in their infancy; and as they increase in years, the lustful passions grow with their growth, and strengthen with their strength. Their minds are not at rest. Girls desire the society of boys; and boys, that of the girls. Their deportment is not reserved and modest. They are bold and forward, taking indecent liberties. Their corrupt habits of self-abuse have debased their minds, and tainted their souls. Vile thoughts, novel-reading, vile books, and love-stories, excite their imagination, and just suit their depraved minds.” Appeal to the Battle Creek Church, p 52-64 https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/344.2#173

 

Children

 

Scripture:

• "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth" Genesis 1:28

 

• "Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house, your children like olive plants around your table." Psalm 128:3

 

• "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Psalm 127:3-5

 

Ellen G. White: 

• "My Dear Children, ever near and dear to me: It is with pain I now address you. When you went to your field of labor in Oregon it was with the idea that your wife and yourself would work in the interest of the cause of God. This I was shown was the will of God concerning you. But you changed this order of things by your own course. God did not order it thus. Had you both devoted your powers, the ability that God had given you, to do the work with an eye single to His glory, you would have done only that which it was your duty to do. The importance of self-sacrificing labor in this cause and work of God should be ever felt in a higher sense than it is. If it was felt then there would be a self-sacrificing spirit manifested. The love and pity for souls for whom Christ has died would call the thoughts away from selfish desires and selfish plans. The love for Him who died for man will exercise a constraining power over our imagination, our purposes, and all our plans. We shall not plan for our pleasure, to gratify our wishes, but lay ourselves on the altar of God a willing sacrifice for the Lord to use us to His glory. The mind of Jesus Christ must be in us, controlling every thought, every purpose of our lives. This is the attitude in which we should ever keep our souls before God. This we will do if we realize the worth of souls and if the truth as it is in Jesus is stamped upon the soul. This work was given you—to be missionaries for God.   Satan lays his plans to defeat the purpose of God. He helps you to plan for yourselves, which plan he knows will succeed in hedging you both about with difficulties, not only robbing God of the labors of Adelia, but in a large degree of Brother Van Horn also. The care of children will so preoccupy the mind that Christ and His work will be neglected. The strongest earthly affection would be awakened, the mother for her children, which would make the work of God all secondary; and thus Satan would obstruct the path of usefulness the Lord had pointed out… Oh, could you both have seen that the truth, the truth of God, the salvation of souls, is something stronger, deeper, and more constraining than even the love of a mother for her sons! No selfishness must come in to mar the work of God. Self-denial may be agonizing to the flesh, but the better portion, religion, must take the helm. Truth and love for Christ must occupy the citadel of the soul. There is God enthroned, there is conscience obeyed, and God would have given you a place in His house better than of sons and of daughters. The Lord has given Adelia superior talents. Exercised in the work of winning souls to Jesus, they would have been wholly successful. The plain, sweet, elevating manner of teaching would have brought many sons and daughters to Jesus Christ. The light would flash from the throne of God to her mind and be reflected upon others. But the enemy took the field and his suggestions were followed. You entered upon a work which God could not and did not approve. A way was contrived by the enemy to strike at you both and block your way.” …”It is really not wise to have children now. Time is short, the perils of the last days are upon us, and the little children will be largely swept off before this. If men and women who can work for God would consider that while they are pleasing themselves in having little children and caring for them, they might be at work teaching the way of salvation to large numbers and bringing many sons and daughters to Christ, great would be their reward in the kingdom of God. Adelia, my heart is pained because you have made a failure, because you have robbed God. You are naturally fearful, borrowing trouble. You could not have rest or peace of mind separated from your children; and the worrying disposition you have closes up the way for your work. And this is not all: the work is greatly neglected.” Letter 48 (1876) https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/27.793#795

 

• "Your case has been troubling me as I am called to write out testimonies to different ones in regard to the inconsistency of their going out into distant fields as missionaries and at the same time bringing children into the world that will increase the cares and burdens in a large degree. The enclosed I should have sent you from Healdsburg, but it was overlooked, and with some additional words will send it now.  I am distressed as I see the state of things among our workers. Brother and Sister [Enoch] professedly gave themselves to the missionary work, but all the time have labored as faithfully as if the salvation of their souls depended on how large a number of children they could bring into the world. They have not been married many years, but they have five or six little children. Sister [Enoch] was one who could do a good work, if she could have time to improve her powers, but she has been kept carrying or nursing babies nearly all the time, and her personal appearance is neglected. Her habits are not tidy as they should be, and her strength is exhausted, so it would be better for them both to leave the field and take a piece of land and do their duty to their children they have brought into the world. As the case now stands, they have to leave their children here and there for others to take care of. This is not after God’s order. ... How much better would have been the influence of both if they had not married, but both have devoted their interests to God’s cause, and after they were married how much better for them to have thoroughly considered the situation and decided that God should have all the powers He had given them in the work of saving precious souls. Now their greatest care must be their family, or ought to be, now they have brought them into the world. Brother [Cudney] could have done a good work for the Master had he devoted himself to this work as the Lord’s servant. When married, his work has not been more than one half that which it might have been. Then he must bring a child into the family, and now he can do but one third what he might have done had he studied how he might best serve God who had called him to be a soldier of the cross of Christ. These cases will illustrate all.   The time is and has been for years that the bringing of children into the world is more an occasion of grief than of joy. The very atmosphere seems polluted. Satan controls these children, and the Lord has but little to do with them. Parents give but little attention to them, and in the near future they will be removed by death. “Woe unto them that be with child and give suck” [Luke 21:23] even in these days, and if our workers were walking closely with God, they would see the situation and would feel that it is no matter of rejoicing to bring a child into the world. A blessing is pronounced upon the eunuchs who keep the Lord’s Sabbath. He says He will give them a name, and a place better than of sons and daughters. [Isaiah 56:4, 5.] The time has come when in all sense they that have wives be as they that have none. God wants us to be consistent people, our works corresponding with our faith. Since your going to ______, and your course in relation to these things, I have less confidence in your judgment and wise management and foresight than before. Because I know that in some things God has not been made your Counselor. ... I write these things because you need them. I shall write to Elder ______.   The Lord wants your physical, mental, and moral powers; and if you think it the best work you can do to bring babies into your family, God help you to have wisdom enough to place yourself in different relation to His cause and do the work that seems so important to you at this time. Our preachers and our workers seem to think one of the important branches of the work [is] first to get as many children into the world as possible, then, if they can give the remnant of their thoughts and ability to the work, they are doing all God requires of them. We shall need a voice like John the Baptist lifted up to show my people their transgressions and the house of Israel their sins." Regarding Minister's Families, Feb 15 (1885)/ Letters and Manuscripts, Vol 4, Ms 34b (1885) https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/14054.3819001#3819007 

 

• [To Elder and Mrs. C. L. Boyd:] "I have some matters I wish to present before you. I thought you were acquainted with the testimony born to Elder [Van Horn] and his wife. If I did not think you knew in regard to this testimony, I would send it to you; but this was the burden of the message: that in accordance with our faith we are required to make any and every sacrifice for the truth’s sake; that at this time, when amid the perils of the last days, it was not in accordance with our faith or God’s will that our missionaries should fill their hands with cares and burdens which were not essential to the work, but which would eventually greatly lessen the ability to work. The message we have to bear requires much sacrifice; and if they make no change in their habits and in their practices than worldlings in general, they are not letting their works correspond with their faith. I was shown that Brother and Sister [Van Horn] have departed from God’s counsel in bringing into the world children. God required all there was of them in His work, and both could have done a good work for the Master; but the enemy came in and his counsels were followed and the cause of God was robbed of the attention it should have; and instead of raising up many sons and daughters to God, they were doing a work which would bring upon them cares and burdens and retard the work God had given them to do. God will say to them, “Who required this at your hands?" You are following the very same course as Elder ______. Had you both done that which God would have been pleased to have had you do, giving all your thoughts, all your interests to the work, you both unitedly might have done a good work; but when I learned that you are soon to have an addition to your family, I know that you are not doing the will of God, but following your own inclinations to please yourselves. I have special light in regard to these things, but hardly know how to present it before our people. The missionaries had better set an example to the people in these things that correspond with our faith.” Letters and Manuscripts, Vol 4, Ms 34 (1885) https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/14054.4173001#4173007

 

 

James White

 

Ellen claimed by divine vision that God endorced her husband's writings, even to the degree of threatening condemnation upon those who did not use their own money to distribute his paper. 

Ellen G. White:

• “I saw the paper and that it was needed. That souls were hungry for the truth that must be written in the paper. I saw that if the paper stopped for want of means, and those hungry sheep died for want of the paper, it would not be James' fault, but it would be the fault of those whom God had lent his money to be faithful stewards over, and they let it idle; and the blood of souls would be upon their garments. I saw that the paper should go, and if they let it die, they would weep in anguish soon. I saw that God did not want James to stop yet, but he must write, write, write, write, and speed the message and let it go. I saw that it would go where God's servants cannot go.” Manuscript 2 (1850) / Ellen G. White: The Early Years: 1827-1862 (vol. 1) https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/668.1350#1360

 

James White: 

• “Frequent (sexual) indulgence in any of its forms, will run down, and run out, any one, of either sex. Those who would write, or speak, or study, must forego this intellectual exertion, or else die. Mere animal temperaments are less injured, because they, by supposition, their vitality is abundant, and its drain by other functions is slight; nor do they enjoy this function as do those more highly organized, and hence are proportionally exhausted. Such live, to be sure; so do brutes. Carnal, groveling, sensual, low-lived animals, living mainly on a single pleasure, when their nature serves up so many! Let such revel in lust, because capable of little else. But those highly organized must partake rarely, else it will excite to distraction, and proportionally exhaust. Besides, they can expend their less-abundant, perhaps deficient, vitality to better advantage. Frequent indulgence must necessarily be lustful, and therefore debasing to their higher feelings. Those whose intellectuality and morality are feeble, may spend their surplus vitality on this passion with less injury, yet cannot cultivate their higher faculties while they thus revel in lust. Let such remain all animal and revel on. But for those who have already too little vitality to sustain their higher faculties - For such to rob all their nobler, godlike elements of vitality, just to expend it on a sensual, debasing passion, is physical, mental, and moral suicide. Red-faced, bloated, course-grained, gouty subjects - it matters little of what becomes of them. About as well go to Texas and be shot as any way, or stay and kill themselves, because worth little anyhow. But for the light-built, fine-skinned, fine-haired, spare-built, sharp-featured, light-eyed persons, of either sex, to indulge, even in wedlock, as often as the moon quarters is gradual but effectual destruction of both soul and body; because they already work off vitality faster than their feeble vital apparatus manufactures it. This excess of expenditure over supply occasions their sharpness. A surplus would render them fleshy. Now to add the most powerful drain of all to their already sparse supply, must sooner or later, according to their vigor of constitution, render them bankrupts of life." A Solemn Appeal: It Enfeebles The Mind, Steam Press: Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Assoc., Battle Creek, MI (1870) https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/1444.734#735 

 

• "Many have entered the marriage relation who have not acquired property, and who have had no inheritance. They did not possess physical strength or mental energy, to acquire property. It has been just such ones who have been in haste to marry, and who have taken upon themselves responsibilities of which they had no just sense. They did not possess noble, elevated feelings, and had no just idea of the duty of a husband and father, and what it would cost them to provide for the wants of a family. And they manifested no more propriety in the increase of their families than that shown in their business transactions. Those who are seriously deficient in business tact, and who are the least qualified to get along in the world, generally fill their houses with children; while men who have ability to acquire property, generally have no more children than they can well provide for. Those who are not qualified to take care of themselves, should not have children. It has been the case that the numerous offspring of these poor calculators are left to come up like the brutes. They are not suitably fed or clothed, and do not receive physical or mental training, and there is nothing sacred in the word home, to either parents or children. The marriage institution was designed of Heaven to be a blessing to man; but, in a general sense, it has been abused in such a manner as to make it a dreadful curse. Most men and women have acted, in entering the marriage relation, as though the only question for them to settle was, whether they loved each other. But they should realize that a responsibility rested upon them in the marriage relation farther than this. They should consider whether their offspring will possess physical health, and mental and moral strength. But few have moved with high motives, and with elevated considerations which they could not lightly throw off - that society had claims upon them, that the weight of their family’s influence would tell in the upward or downward scale. Society is composed of families; and heads of families are responsible for the molding of society. If those who choose to enter the marriage relation without due consideration were alone to be the sufferers, then the evil would not be so great, and their sin would be comparatively small. But the misery arising from unhappy marriages is felt by the offspring of such unions. They have entailed upon them a life of living misery; and, though innocent, suffer the consequences of their parents’ inconsiderate course. Men and women have no right to follow impulse, or blind passion, in their marriage relation, and then bring innocent children into the world to realize from various causes that life has but little joy, but little happiness, and is therefore a burden. Children generally inherit the peculiar traits of character which the parents possess; and in addition to all this, many come up without any redeeming influence around them. They are too frequently huddled together in poverty and filth. With such surroundings and examples, what can be expected of the children when they come upon the stage of action, but that they will sink lower in the scale of moral worth than their parents, and their deficiencies, in every respect, be more apparent than theirs? Thus have this class perpetuated their deficiencies, and cursed their posterity with poverty, imbecility, and degradation. These should not have married. At least, they should not have brought innocent children into existence to share their misery, and hand down their own deficiencies, with accumulating wretchedness, from generation to generation. This is one great cause of the degeneracy of the race.” … “Sickly men have often won the affections of women apparently healthy, and because they loved each other, they have felt themselves at perfect liberty to marry, neither considering that by their union the wife must be a sufferer, more or less, because of the diseased husband. In many cases, the diseased husband improves in health, while the wife shares his disease. He lives very much upon her vitality, and she soon complains of failing health. He prolongs his days by shortening the days of his wife. Those who thus marry, commit sin in lightly regarding health and life given to them of God to be used to his glory. But if those who thus enter the marriage relation were alone concerned, the sin would not be so great. Their offspring are compelled to be sufferers by disease transmitted to them. Thus disease has been perpetuated from generation to generation. And many charge all this weight of human misery upon God, when their wrong course of action has brought the sure result. They have thrown upon society an enfeebled race, and done their part to deteriorate the race, by rendering disease hereditary, and thus accumulating human suffering. Another cause of the deficiency of the present generation in physical strength and moral worth, is the union of men and women in marriage whose ages widely differ. It is frequently the case that old men choose to marry young wives. By thus doing the life of the husband has often been prolonged, while the wife has had to feel the want of that vitality which she has imparted to her aged husband. It has not been the duty of any woman to sacrifice life and health, even if she did love one so much older than herself, and felt willing on her part to make such a sacrifice. She should have restrained her affections. She had considerations higher than her own interest to consult. She should consider, if children were born to them, what their condition would be. It is still worse for young men to marry women considerably older than themselves. The offspring of such unions in many cases, where ages widely differ, have not well-balanced minds. They have been deficient also in physical strength. In such families, varied, peculiar, and often painful, traits of character have frequently been manifested. The children often die prematurely, and those who reach maturity, in many cases, are deficient in physical and mental strength, and moral worth.” … “Those who increase their number of children, when, if they consulted reason, they must know that physical and mental weakness must be their inheritance, are transgressors of the last six precepts of God’s law, which specify the duty of man to his fellow-man. They do their part in increasing the degeneracy of the race, and in sinking society lower, thus injuring their neighbor. If God thus regards the rights of neighbors, has he no care in regard to closer and more sacred relationship? If not a sparrow falls to the ground without his notice, will he be unmindful of the children born into the world, diseased physically and mentally, suffering in a greater or less degree, all their lives? Will he not call parents to an account, to whom he has given reasoning powers, for putting these higher faculties in the background, and becoming slaves to passion, when, as the result, generations must bear the mark of their physical, mental, and moral deficiencies? In addition to the suffering they entail upon their children, they have no portion but poverty to leave to their pitiful flock. They cannot educate them, and many do not see the necessity of it; neither could they, if they did see such necessity, find time to train them, and instruct them, and lessen, as much as possible, the wretched inheritance transmitted to them. Parents should not increase their families any faster than they know that their children can be well cared for, and educated. A child in the mother’s arms from year to year is great injustice to her. It lessens, and often destroys, social enjoyment, and increases domestic wretchedness. It robs their children of that care, education, and happiness, which parents should feel it their duty to bestow upon them. The husband violates the marriage vow and the duties enjoined upon him in the word of God, when he disregards the health and happiness of the wife, by increasing her burdens and cares by numerous offspring. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church." We see this holy injunction almost wholly disregarded, even by professed Christians. Everywhere you may look, you will see pale, sickly, careworn, broken-down, dispirited, discouraged women. They are generally overworked, and their vital energies exhausted by frequent child-bearing. The world is filled with images of human beings who are of no worth to society. Many are deficient in intellect, and many who possess natural talents do not use them for any beneficial purposes. They are not cultivated, and the one great reason is, children have been multiplied faster than they could be well trained, and have been left to come up much like the brutes.” A Solemn Appeal: The Marriage Relation, p. 102-111, Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association (1870) https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/1444.390#415 
  • According to James (and Ellen due to her approval per divine vision of his writings), parents who are victims of poverty, have physical ailments, or have a spouse with a wide age gap are committing sin if they decide to have children. None of these "sins" are outlined in scripture. God consistently encourages childbearing and calls it a blessing throughout scripture, even in times of poverty and slavery. It is also worth noting that one of the great romances within scripture was between Ruth and Boaz, a man who was much older according to the text. This union was blessed in the sight of scripture and Kind David as well as our Messiah Jesus were direct descendants of Ruth and Boaz.