Marriage

Scripture:

• "'It is not good for Man to be alone; I will make a helper for him.'...For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:18, 24

 

Ellen G. White:

• "How much better would have been the influence of both if they had not married, but both have devoted their interests to God’s cause," ... "Brother [Cudney] could have done a good work for the Master had he devoted himself to this work as the Lord’s servant. When married, his work has not been more than one half that which it might have been." Regarding Minister's Families, Feb 15 (1885)/ Letters and Manuscripts, Vol 4, Ms 34b (1885) https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/14054.3819001#3819008  

 

 

Divorce

Scripture:

• “Now it was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away is to give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32

 

• "And some Pharisees came up to Jesus, testing Him, and began questioning Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife. And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send his wife away.” But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, God created them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”  And in the house the disciples again began questioning Him about this. And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.” Mark 10:2-12

 

• “But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife is not to leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if any woman has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one is leaving, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” 1 Corinthians 7:10-16

 

Ellen G. White:

• “I then saw Sister S. Peckham that she would have to break loose from her husband for he has no part nor lot with the saints. I saw he had sapped her strength, and that he had a fire of her kindling, that she would talk the truth with him and try to impress him with it. He would appear to have a love for the truth and a little feeling. I saw all his care was to get this world, and to lay up a treasure upon the earth. I saw she must look to Jesus and draw strength and grace from Him or she would fall right upon the borders of Canaan. I saw she had been losing her life and strength of late, for the weight of her husband has dragged her down, and the company of the wicked has opened a wide door for the devil to hit her with his darts. I saw she must shake off these shackles and go free or she will fall. I saw that the time had come when though Noah, Daniel, and Job were in the Land they could not save son or daughter, husband, or any one but their own souls by their own righteousness.” Manuscript 7a, 1850 https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/13961.2835001#2835018 
  • Ellen's directions (per divine vision) to this woman are directly opposed to what Jesus and Paul instruct in scripture. She even condemns this woman saying she will fall to Satan if she does not leave her husband. A spirit who gives a vision denying the instructions of Jesus cannot be a spirit sent from God. 

 

 

Intimacy

 

Scripture:

• "But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:2-5

 

Ellen G. White:

• “Let the husband and wife in their married life prove a help and a blessing to one another. Let them consider the cost of every indulgence in intemperance and sensualism. These indulgences do not increase love, nor ennoble and elevate. Those who will indulge the animal passions and gratify lust will surely stamp upon their offspring the debasing practices, the grossness of their own physical and moral defilement.” Manuscript 3 (1897) / Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, Adultery, and Divorce, Ch 14  https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/122.540#568 

Ellen supported her husband James’ writings, even to the degree of threatening condemnation upon those who did not use their own money to distribute his paper. 

• “I saw the paper and that it was needed. That souls were hungry for the truth that must be written in the paper. I saw that if the paper stopped for want of means, and those hungry sheep died for want of the paper, it would not be James' fault, but it would be the fault of those whom God had lent his money to be faithful stewards over, and they let it idle; and the blood of souls would be upon their garments. I saw that the paper should go, and if they let it die, they would weep in anguish soon. I saw that God did not want James to stop yet, but he must write, write, write, write, and speed the message and let it go. I saw that it would go where God's servants cannot go.” Manuscript 2 (1850) / Ellen G. White: The Early Years: 1827-1862 (vol. 1) https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/668.1350#1360 

James White: 

• “Frequent (sexual) indulgence in any of its forms, will run down, and run out, any one, of either sex. Those who would write, or speak, or study, must forego this intellectual exertion, or else die. Mere animal temperaments are less injured, because they, by supposition, their vitality is abundant, and its drain by other functions is slight; nor do they enjoy this function as do those more highly organized, and hence are proportionally exhausted. Such live, to be sure; so do brutes. Carnal, groveling, sensual, low-lived animals, living mainly on a single pleasure, when their nature serves up so many! Let such revel in lust, because capable of little else. But those highly organized must partake rarely, else it will excite to distraction, and proportionally exhaust. Besides, they can expend their less-abundant, perhaps deficient, vitality to better advantage. Frequent indulgence must necessarily be lustful, and therefore debasing to their higher feelings. Those whose intellectuality and morality are feeble, may spend their surplus vitality on this passion with less injury, yet cannot cultivate their higher faculties while they thus revel in lust. Let such remain all animal and revel on. But for those who have already too little vitality to sustain their higher faculties - For such to rob all their nobler, godlike elements of vitality, just to expend it on a sensual, debasing passion, is physical, mental, and moral suicide. Red-faced, bloated, course-grained, gouty subjects - it matters little of what becomes of them. About as well go to Texas and be shot as any way, or stay and kill themselves, because worth little anyhow. But for the light-built, fine-skinned, fine-haired, spare-built, sharp-featured, light-eyed persons, of either sex, to indulge, even in wedlock, as often as the moon quarters is gradual but effectual destruction of both soul and body; because they already work off vitality faster than their feeble vital apparatus manufactures it. This excess of expenditure over supply occasions their sharpness. A surplus would render them fleshy. Now to add the most powerful drain of all to their already sparse supply, must sooner or later, according to their vigor of constitution, render them bankrupts of life." A Solemn Appeal: It Enfeebles The Mind, Steam Press: Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Assoc., Battle Creek, MI (1870) https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/1444.734#735 

 

 

Children

 

Scripture:

• "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth" Genesis 1:28

 

• "Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house, your children like olive plants around your table." Psalm 128:3

 

• "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Psalm 127:3-5

 

Ellen G. White: 

• "My Dear Children, ever near and dear to me: It is with pain I now address you. When you went to your field of labor in Oregon it was with the idea that your wife and yourself would work in the interest of the cause of God. This I was shown was the will of God concerning you. But you changed this order of things by your own course. God did not order it thus. Had you both devoted your powers, the ability that God had given you, to do the work with an eye single to His glory, you would have done only that which it was your duty to do. The importance of self-sacrificing labor in this cause and work of God should be ever felt in a higher sense than it is. If it was felt then there would be a self-sacrificing spirit manifested. The love and pity for souls for whom Christ has died would call the thoughts away from selfish desires and selfish plans. The love for Him who died for man will exercise a constraining power over our imagination, our purposes, and all our plans. We shall not plan for our pleasure, to gratify our wishes, but lay ourselves on the altar of God a willing sacrifice for the Lord to use us to His glory. The mind of Jesus Christ must be in us, controlling every thought, every purpose of our lives. This is the attitude in which we should ever keep our souls before God. This we will do if we realize the worth of souls and if the truth as it is in Jesus is stamped upon the soul. This work was given you—to be missionaries for God.   Satan lays his plans to defeat the purpose of God. He helps you to plan for yourselves, which plan he knows will succeed in hedging you both about with difficulties, not only robbing God of the labors of Adelia, but in a large degree of Brother Van Horn also. The care of children will so preoccupy the mind that Christ and His work will be neglected. The strongest earthly affection would be awakened, the mother for her children, which would make the work of God all secondary; and thus Satan would obstruct the path of usefulness the Lord had pointed out… Oh, could you both have seen that the truth, the truth of God, the salvation of souls, is something stronger, deeper, and more constraining than even the love of a mother for her sons! No selfishness must come in to mar the work of God. Self-denial may be agonizing to the flesh, but the better portion, religion, must take the helm. Truth and love for Christ must occupy the citadel of the soul. There is God enthroned, there is conscience obeyed, and God would have given you a place in His house better than of sons and of daughters. The Lord has given Adelia superior talents. Exercised in the work of winning souls to Jesus, they would have been wholly successful. The plain, sweet, elevating manner of teaching would have brought many sons and daughters to Jesus Christ. The light would flash from the throne of God to her mind and be reflected upon others. But the enemy took the field and his suggestions were followed. You entered upon a work which God could not and did not approve. A way was contrived by the enemy to strike at you both and block your way.” …”It is really not wise to have children now. Time is short, the perils of the last days are upon us, and the little children will be largely swept off before this. If men and women who can work for God would consider that while they are pleasing themselves in having little children and caring for them, they might be at work teaching the way of salvation to large numbers and bringing many sons and daughters to Christ, great would be their reward in the kingdom of God. Adelia, my heart is pained because you have made a failure, because you have robbed God. You are naturally fearful, borrowing trouble. You could not have rest or peace of mind separated from your children; and the worrying disposition you have closes up the way for your work. And this is not all: the work is greatly neglected.” Letter 48 (1876) https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/27.793#795

 

• "Your case has been troubling me as I am called to write out testimonies to different ones in regard to the inconsistency of their going out into distant fields as missionaries and at the same time bringing children into the world that will increase the cares and burdens in a large degree. The enclosed I should have sent you from Healdsburg, but it was overlooked, and with some additional words will send it now.  I am distressed as I see the state of things among our workers. Brother and Sister [Enoch] professedly gave themselves to the missionary work, but all the time have labored as faithfully as if the salvation of their souls depended on how large a number of children they could bring into the world. They have not been married many years, but they have five or six little children. Sister [Enoch] was one who could do a good work, if she could have time to improve her powers, but she has been kept carrying or nursing babies nearly all the time, and her personal appearance is neglected. Her habits are not tidy as they should be, and her strength is exhausted, so it would be better for them both to leave the field and take a piece of land and do their duty to their children they have brought into the world. As the case now stands, they have to leave their children here and there for others to take care of. This is not after God’s order. ... How much better would have been the influence of both if they had not married, but both have devoted their interests to God’s cause, and after they were married how much better for them to have thoroughly considered the situation and decided that God should have all the powers He had given them in the work of saving precious souls. Now their greatest care must be their family, or ought to be, now they have brought them into the world. Brother [Cudney] could have done a good work for the Master had he devoted himself to this work as the Lord’s servant. When married, his work has not been more than one half that which it might have been. Then he must bring a child into the family, and now he can do but one third what he might have done had he studied how he might best serve God who had called him to be a soldier of the cross of Christ. These cases will illustrate all.   The time is and has been for years that the bringing of children into the world is more an occasion of grief than of joy. The very atmosphere seems polluted. Satan controls these children, and the Lord has but little to do with them. Parents give but little attention to them, and in the near future they will be removed by death. “Woe unto them that be with child and give suck” [Luke 21:23] even in these days, and if our workers were walking closely with God, they would see the situation and would feel that it is no matter of rejoicing to bring a child into the world. A blessing is pronounced upon the eunuchs who keep the Lord’s Sabbath. He says He will give them a name, and a place better than of sons and daughters. [Isaiah 56:4, 5.] The time has come when in all sense they that have wives be as they that have none. God wants us to be consistent people, our works corresponding with our faith. Since your going to ______, and your course in relation to these things, I have less confidence in your judgment and wise management and foresight than before. Because I know that in some things God has not been made your Counselor. ... I write these things because you need them. I shall write to Elder ______.   The Lord wants your physical, mental, and moral powers; and if you think it the best work you can do to bring babies into your family, God help you to have wisdom enough to place yourself in different relation to His cause and do the work that seems so important to you at this time. Our preachers and our workers seem to think one of the important branches of the work [is] first to get as many children into the world as possible, then, if they can give the remnant of their thoughts and ability to the work, they are doing all God requires of them. We shall need a voice like John the Baptist lifted up to show my people their transgressions and the house of Israel their sins." Regarding Minister's Families, Feb 15 (1885)/ Letters and Manuscripts, Vol 4, Ms 34b (1885) https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/14054.3819001#3819007 

 

• [To Elder and Mrs. C. L. Boyd:] "I have some matters I wish to present before you. I thought you were acquainted with the testimony born to Elder [Van Horn] and his wife. If I did not think you knew in regard to this testimony, I would send it to you; but this was the burden of the message: that in accordance with our faith we are required to make any and every sacrifice for the truth’s sake; that at this time, when amid the perils of the last days, it was not in accordance with our faith or God’s will that our missionaries should fill their hands with cares and burdens which were not essential to the work, but which would eventually greatly lessen the ability to work. The message we have to bear requires much sacrifice; and if they make no change in their habits and in their practices than worldlings in general, they are not letting their works correspond with their faith. I was shown that Brother and Sister [Van Horn] have departed from God’s counsel in bringing into the world children. God required all there was of them in His work, and both could have done a good work for the Master; but the enemy came in and his counsels were followed and the cause of God was robbed of the attention it should have; and instead of raising up many sons and daughters to God, they were doing a work which would bring upon them cares and burdens and retard the work God had given them to do. God will say to them, “Who required this at your hands?" You are following the very same course as Elder ______. Had you both done that which God would have been pleased to have had you do, giving all your thoughts, all your interests to the work, you both unitedly might have done a good work; but when I learned that you are soon to have an addition to your family, I know that you are not doing the will of God, but following your own inclinations to please yourselves. I have special light in regard to these things, but hardly know how to present it before our people. The missionaries had better set an example to the people in these things that correspond with our faith.” Letters and Manuscripts, Vol 4, Ms 34 (1885) https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/14054.4173001#4173007